Picture Perfect

I love this wedding picture of Pete and I because we're just face forward, looking happy. This picture, to me, is perfect. But has that ever been your motivation for staying in a relationship or making a new one work?

I think a big problem I had when I split from my ex was worrying what other people thought. When he and I were together, everyone thought we were a great match. We had a lot in common, we were the same age, we were both extroverted and social. So when things got rough and I started to question our relationship, I'd immediately think, "but everyone loves us together!" and rationalize what I was feeling away.

In the same vein, when I started dating post break-up, I'd try to talk myself into a new guy. I'd find myself going through the motions of dating and then thinking things to myself like, "well, he's got a solid job and he likes animals, those are good qualities," or "his friends are lots of fun and he seems really loyal." Here's a good tip for all you new daters out there, if "he dresses neatly," is something you are actively giving him credit for, he's not the one. A nice picture isn't enough.

When I met Pete, I stopped listing good qualities. I never found myself tallying his attributes or thinking of why he might be a good fit for me, I just let myself fall in love. We had a connection, I was always crazed to see him, I loved who I was around him, and whenever his name came up or he walked through the door, I grinned like a moron. That's what you need to look for. If he wore Crocs and graphic t-shirts 24/7, it wouldn't have mattered. But let's thank God he didn't :)