So What Really Happened?

When it comes to break-ups, I think one problem women have is we don't truly admit what the problem was. A phrase like, "he fell out of love with me" couldn't be more hurtful, but is it even close to accurate? Do two people go along blissfully until the day the man wakes up and realizes he's no longer in love with his partner? I don't think so. I think couples who split usually have a fundamental problem, but sometimes it's very hard to see until the break-up dust settles.

Take me, for example. When I called off my wedding back in 2006, I kept saying things to myself like, "life got in the way," and "he wasn't ready." That sounds good on paper, but there was something much more concrete going on. The truth is, we weren't a good match. I kept hoping he'd outgrow certain behaviors and he kept hoping I'd embrace them. In my mid 20s, I liked a night out at the bars. But I also liked a night in with a movie, a dinner party with friends, and a romantic dinner for two. I did not want to party every night. I didn't want to wake up with a headache on every random Wednesday. But my ex did. He wanted to hit the town, cocktail in hand, six nights a week and it bugged him that I didn't share his late night enthusiasm. That may sound like nothing in the face of our six year relationship, but it ruined us. We spent our last year or so together hoping the other person would change. I found out the hard way that when a guy hands you a ring, he doesn't grow up on the spot.

So first thing's first. If you are shattered in the wake of a break up, try to figure out why it really didn't work. Then, treat yourself to the thought of someone down the road who embodies everything you were missing out on with your now ex. Nobodys perfect, but as I plan to show you in this blog, you can and will meet someone who makes you happy and treats you well just as he is. Just check out the handsome blond in my pictures, he's living proof!